Barbara worked as a solicitor at Macleod and MacCallum in Inverness. She lived alone in Crown. Barbara lived a pretty clean existence. She did not smoke or drink. She had two relationships in her 40 year long life. Her one vice was Haribo sweets. Everyday before work she would go into Poundland on the High Street and buy a bag of Tangfastics to keep at her desk and keep her going throughout the day.


Barbara was dedicated to her job. There was no funny business with the other solicitors. Her colleagues would wonder when she would finally remove the stick from her ass.

Well today was that day. After work one Friday, Barbara needed a sugar rush. It was November so it was already dark after 5pm. She walked into Poundland in her Marks and Spencers suit and chunky Clark heels. She grabbed a bag of Haribo Giant Strawbs. There was no one else in the large store except the sales assistant. A gawky 20 something year old who looked incredibly bored. Barbara walked up to the check out and gave a slight smile and nod to the sales assistant.


“That will be a pound please.”

Out of nowhere, there was a loud smash.

Barbara and the sales assistant dropped to their knees. Barbara crawled behind the Doritos stand and peeked out. Outside there was a man wearing a gas mask holding a knife. He had just thrown a rock through the window.


“What the fuck was that?” whispered the sales assistant.

“I’ve heard about this freak. He breaks into stores around the Highlands and murders anyone inside.” Barbara pulled out her mobile phone and tried to call the police. She wasn’t getting any reception.

Barbara crawled to hide behind the till. “Do you have a phone?”


“The battery is dead.” The sales assistant was slumped in the corner staring into space in shock.

“Maybe we’ll just have to wait it out.” Barbara took off her uncomfortable heels. “What’s your name?

“Kyle,” he muttered in between deep breaths.

“Well Kyle, how do you like working at Poundland?”

“I hate it. Except the discount is ok. I get Haribo for 50p”


In response to this, Barbara pulled out her Haribo Giant Strawbs and offered him some. They could hear the man shouting and throwing rocks at the wall outside.

“Hopefully he gives up eventually,” Barbara muttered. An hour had already passed. Barbara decided to make conversation with Kyle. Where was he from? Was he studying Et cetera ? Kyle spoke about how he was from North Uist originally and was studying English literature. It turns out they had a lot in common. They both liked sweets and both liked books. The conversation soon turned flirtatious.

“So if you’re a MILF, why are you single?” Kyle’s eyes lit up as he said this.

“I work all the time,” Barbara blushed. She looked at Kyle. He moved in to kiss her. Barbara went with it. She hadn’t had sex in 5 years and she might die tonight.

Kyle was kissing her and began to unbutton her blouse. He put his hands down her trousers and inserted his finger inside of her. Barbara may have removed the stick from her ass but she got a finger in her vagina.